That Girl is a Problem
by nauticaas
Summary: As crazy and hectic as the days can be when you're one of the infamous Straw Hats, somehow the ladies make life on the high seas worth it. a.k.a. Nami and Robin reflect on their crewmates on board the two best pirate ships in the world and adventure happens. Eventually.


**Author's Note:** I have no explanation for this. None at all. Okay, maybe I was just curious to see how the Straw Hat Pirates' dynamic and relationships would play out if their genders were reversed. You may feel free to hit the back button now; thank you for your curiosity and for trying it out if you decide to stay on this page. Anyway, all of their names are totally gender-neutral and you can't convince me otherwise. (Also, Staithe Wharf just gets a brief mention because I love that island so much from my other fic, but it doesn't play an important role at all in this.)

* * *

Robin flipped through the well-worn book in search of that reference to the shifting weather patterns surrounding Staithe Wharf's ocean field, which was strange even by Grand Line standards. The navigator had been working all night long trying to route the best course around that island and was looking frustrated to the point of exhaustion. At least with Robin's help their ship might get through the inconstant sea route with relative ease.

"Here it is, Navigator-san," the archaeologist began in a triumphant voice, only to be cut off by their captain's excited yells as she chased her crewmates across the Sunny's lawn.

They were caught up in yet another impromptu game of capture the flag, with the swordsman's trademark bandana as the "flag"; she didn't even stir once from her sleep while the two teams fought over the black strip of cloth wrapped around her arm. Nami glanced at Robin and shook his head. Where did they even get all of that energy to keep playing? It had only been a week since the nightmare on Thriller Bark, and yet they were already up and eager for another adventure (at least, the captain seemed to be). Everyone else was simply too caught up in her good mood to care.

"_Ladies_," Sanji called as she stepped out of the galley with their mid-afternoon refreshments, setting the three trays out on the old picnic table that Franky had hauled out of storage once the weather had turned nice. "I made you all some delicious and scrumptious finger foods; who's ready for a snack?"

She didn't even wait for Luffy to register the fact that there was food on the table when she waved one of the trays in front of the captain with a flourish. "Luffy-chwan, a special treat, just for you."

Luffy's eyes lit up at the sight of a tray all for herself; it wasn't the first time Sanji did that for her, but she always genuinely showed her appreciation for the gesture.

"Meat…"she salivated cheerfully over the pile of food on her plate before immediately shoveling half of it into her mouth. Sanji remained unfazed in the face of her lack of manners and her gluttonous behavior, even going so far as to ruffle the girl's messy black hair fondly before taking up the other plates to the rest of the crew. Chopper and Usopp were just as enthusiastic and grateful for the snacks that she had so carefully tailored to their tastes (extra sweets on the doctor's plate, no mushrooms for the sniper).

"Wow, thanks Sanji!" Usopp smiled brightly as the cook set her tray in front of her on the lawn, mindful of the scattered ammunition and the slingshot she had been using during the game. "You always know just the right time to make us snacks!"

Chopper nodded eagerly, her wide brown eyes sparkling at the sight of the sugared raspberries and chocolate dipped cookies she had received. "Uh-huh, it's like you know when we're getting hungry but it's still too early for dinner. Thank you!"

"It's my job, kiddos." Sanji brushed a strand of her hair back into place and shrugged, though she couldn't help but mutter a soft "too adorable" at her younger crewmates while they ate. "Enjoy your snacks, okay?"

Brook was next, and she managed to stop Sanji for several moments to get her to listen to the latest ballad she was composing, eliciting a blush from the cook as she laughed and walked away happily. Nami and Robin grinned as she swooned over the shipwright while she climbed down from the rigging to accept her cola and food, giving the cook a firm thumbs up and a brilliant smile. "Ow, super, little sis! Thanks for the cola!"

Before she headed towards the last member of their crew, Sanji casually dropped one of her remaining trays on the table set up between Nami and Robin's chairs on the upper deck.

"Help yourselves, gentlemen," she smiled over her shoulder as she turned back towards the stairs. "There's plenty more in the kitchen; just don't forget to leave room for dinner or I'll kick your asses."

Sanji settled herself down in front of the dozing swordsman, placing an open bottle of sake and some rice balls at her side before nudging Zoro awake. She never liked it when the cook disturbed her naps, and they argued a little, like usual, but Sanji's chastened behavior soon soothed the grumpy swordsman and she dug into her food with as much gusto as the captain. Sanji just smiled and said something that made Zoro raise a brow and chuckle, and the pair fell into an easy conversation as they worked through the snacks on the tray and the sake (even as Sanji cringed every time she took a sip of alcohol, prompting the swordsman to laugh and tease her).

Nami took a long, slow sip of one of the cool tangerine concoctions that Sanji was partial to making just for him (though the cook would never admit it out loud). "Do you remember how we met these idiots, Robin?"

The archaeologist nodded with a quiet smile, taking the coffee mug from the tray with one of his blooming hands. "I do indeed, Navigator-san. Strange to think that we ended up with such an unusual pirate crew, isn't it?"

Nami folded his arms over his chest and shook his head in amusement.

"They're unusual, all right…unusually troublesome. But I don't think I'd want them to be anything other than themselves. They make life a lot more interesting, to say the least."

To be honest, that was putting it lightly.


End file.
